During a senior class trip to Israel, Lila Steinbach had the first inkling that she might be different from her peers.
Steinbach, now 23 and living in Chicago, grew up in Wilmette attending Jewish day school and summer camps. Her family keeps kosher, celebrates all the holidays and has visited Israel frequently. Her Jewish faith is a part of her everyday life.
Her father is an Israeli American.
Her high school took the seniors on a four-week educational trip to Israel. The students heard from speakers around the country. One of them was an alum who was living in the West Bank at the time, a peace activist speaking out against Israel鈥檚 occupation of the territory.
Some of Steinbach鈥檚 classmates were outraged, calling the speaker a traitor. Others left the room in tears 鈥 shocked that a Jewish person could hold such views.
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For Steinbach, it made her think about the history she had been taught 鈥 and what might have been left out. Her class took a trip to the West Bank in a bulletproof bus. She saw a checkpoint where lines of Palestinians would wait for permission to cross for work.
鈥淚 felt sick seeing that,鈥 she said.
Steinbach also started having doubts about what she had been taught about Palestinians.
鈥淲e learned they were one entity 鈥 a homogenous group who wanted to hurt Jewish people,鈥 she said.
She recalled the lessons about how Israel was created: that the land of Biblical Israel had been barren and underdeveloped. Some people may have lived there, but they didn鈥檛 have a national identity. Israel was created to protect the Jewish people after the Holocaust.
鈥淚t was not mentioned that this safety was at the expense of another nation,鈥 she said. She kept her doubts about these narratives to herself.
When she began as a first-year student at Washington University, she joined a chapter of a liberal Zionist lobbying group. She learned history and perspectives she had never known. She met students from Palestinian backgrounds and engaged in conversations with them. When she posted a tepid message against Israel鈥檚 expansion into the West Bank in 2021, she felt the backlash from her own community.
鈥淚t led me to see how anything that was construed as critical of the Israeli government was seen as a threat to Jewish safety to some people,鈥 she said.
She braced herself for difficult conversations with her parents, whom she loves dearly. She showed them the film 鈥,鈥 made by two young American Jews who joined a movement to redefine Judaism鈥檚 relationship with Israel, 鈥渞evealing a deepening generational divide over modern Jewish identity,鈥 per the film鈥檚 description.
鈥淭o their credit, they didn鈥檛 leave鈥 during the movie, Steinbach said. They鈥檝e had some arguments, but they prefer to avoid discussing the emotionally fraught topic.
In the past year, after the attacks by Hamas on Israel on Oct. 7, 2023, and the subsequent Israeli war in Gaza, Steinbach has become more outspoken about justice for the Palestinians and has attended marches in favor of a ceasefire.
She used the word 鈥渙ccupation鈥 for the first time in a conversation with her father.
鈥淭here was a visceral reaction to that,鈥 she said.
From his perspective, that was a word used by people who hated Israel 鈥 not his own daughter, who loves her faith and her people.
She鈥檚 never used the term 鈥渁partheid鈥 with them, although that鈥檚 how she believes the Israeli government operates. She wants to preserve their relationship and avoid hurting them and engaging in repeated, heated arguments.
Her parents have told her that while they believe the Israeli government has some flaws, it still should do whatever it takes to end Hamas. They have shared with her their belief that maintaining a strong Jewish state is the only way to keep Jewish people safe. They don鈥檛 feel she is as committed to 鈥渆nding terror鈥 as they are.
They also feel she is too critical of Israel and not critical enough of Palestine. The difficult conversations have led to some breakthroughs in understanding, however. Steinbach says her mother鈥檚 position has evolved. She is now against the settlements and against the right-wing government currently in power.
鈥淪he appreciates civil conversations with me and sees them as crucial,鈥 Steinbach said.
Steinbach discovered unlikely allies through conversations with her aunt, who is also an Israeli American, and her uncle. In a recent conversation, her uncle told her that he agreed that Israel was committing genocide against the Palestinians.
鈥淚 was totally shocked,鈥 she said. 鈥淗earing someone in my family, an adult in my family, call Israeli warfare and tactics genocidal, I was taken aback,鈥 she said. She has asked her aunt, her father鈥檚 sister, to advocate on her behalf with her parents. A former teacher from her high school, who is also against the occupation, has also provided support.
Steinbach knows her opinion is in the minority among the community in which she was raised.
A survey conducted in May by the found that approximately one-third of Jewish American respondents agreed with the accusation that Israel is committing genocide in Gaza, while about half disagreed.
A number of organizations 鈥 such as Jewish Voice for Peace, Progressive Jews of St. 亚洲无码, IfNotNow, Rabbis for Ceasefire and Shoresh (anti-Zionist Israelis in the U.S.) 鈥 create community for those who feel marginalized and excluded from mainstream Jewish institutions.
At Washington University, Steinbach helped found Jewish Students for Palestine. She said she wanted to create a space where she felt safe practicing her faith while remaining true to her beliefs. But in response, several of her Jewish friends unfollowed her on social media. One close Jewish friend stopped talking to her.
Steinbach will begin law school at WashU next year. She plans to study human rights law 鈥 putting into practice values learned from her faith.
鈥淏eing anti-Zionist doesn鈥檛 mean being against Jewish safety in any way,鈥 she said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a belief in the end to the cycle of violence.鈥